GARDENING SEX AND YOU

T he  incredible amount of overrated sex activity in film, television, printed media and the web is really nauseating.
This could be fought, balanced with 24/7, equal time, public service announcements.


Me first significant sex activity, after the first pubic hair sight, was about the same time I had already propagated: Bauhinia, Cannavis and Ficus pumila.


It seems that not having available choices for entertainment, to use time creatively, leads to drugs or sex, both or the first, apparently even more pulling.


Woody Allen was probably the one who put it better: Masturbation is the best sex, because is sex with the one I love.
Sex is a selfish activity when you think of it. The amount of lies, pretending, adultery, masked with love, just to get laid.


In this respect gardening is very different, besides bringing a l o n g,
l a s t i n g pleasure.. The climax of the fragrance, beauty of a flower, taste of a fruit, a tuber, the raw and the cooked.


Like sex, gardening demands/requires protection. Gloves, hats, sun screen. You could get nasty diseases too, as I did recently on me skin; digging, result of ancient cat poop in one moment of being careless.


Unlike sex, gardening, I assume, for a majority of its practitioners requires a shower after, not before the carnal exchange, when is welcome.


Gardening like foreplay is more effective if all tools, a cushion are organized before digging, pruning and triming.


Unlike sex, mistakes in gardening are often resolved with time, waiting, watching juat japens, without much expense.  Think pregnancy or disease
for not wearing condoms.  The wrong
or sick plant/tree, is just pulled out.


Regarding abstinence, sex wise you may follow Woody's advice or go with the Catholic or fundamentalist fashion.  On the other hand, weeds will certainly dominate your surroundings following this mode.


In terms of exercise gardening beats the crap out of sex, depending on your age,
stamina, health and shape.  This practice demands functional, (not like Sergio Oliva), arms, hands, shoulders, back, knees and ankles.  With the advantage of no Viagra or generics to perform.  


If fond of the missionary position all the above is less pertinent than if following the doggy or sixtynine units manners.


In essence, gardening and the practice of any kind of horticulture, could resolve many social ills.  However, water is necessary and some soil.  This leaves half the world out of my definite solution to this over sexed world.

BONUS

Some decades ago, down by the Caribbean, our  multi-ethnic cultures, (too mixed for some),  had one women aesthetic standard.

A well symmetrically rounded, firm butt as beauty standard.

All was peace and quiet for arses, until USA, Uncle Sam, infected the whole wild world with theirs:

XXX D cups breasts. 

These rugby, tennis and soft ball like implants have become the rule. 

But they do not fool your set trend favorite blogger.  Not only they look like crap, when you squeeze it feels just like them balls.

that is that.

apaga i vamonoh.

Hurray for gardening!