Wednesday, January 25, 2012


Yesterday, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the constant noise with impunity from Universdiad Sagrado Corazon, I took a 3 mile round trip to the police precint in Barrio Obrero, to present a formal complaint.

Couple of officers in charge, taking care of some customer. I waited and waited.  When my chance came up, requesting to see Carlos Diaz, in charge of Community Relations, even though it was ten thirty am, he was not at his office.  But hold your horses, it gets better...There is no telephone in his office, believe it or not, this is Puerto Rico, after all. If he has no phone, he has no computer either..

To resolve the conumdrum.  Miss Santiago called the office next door to find out.  That was that regarding my mission, but I, not too friendly in general, can display unusual charming small talk skills, at least with ladies ugly or not.

Since a policeman without his life vest was recently executed, and I always looking for the news, had some questions...This is the beef. Her vest, just like the one from the mentioned victim, was expired.  To keep the vest on is more or less optional, the individual decides.

When I investigated further there is nothing in police regulations demanding the use of the vest at all times.

But the case in question is interesting. Depending on the angle, the bullet trajectory, the deceased would have passed away anyhow since the vest does not cover all upper body parts.

Moving along the the middle of the real events, (and sort of a punch line in the middle of the post), I visited a relative.  I had some unfair differences, apologized, got down his phone number and left.

What seems unreal, much more a day after, is me cousin reaction when told that I was walking.  He, five years younger, has the attractive figure of Larry the Cable Guy, in brief a blimp anatomy.. He wonders if I knew how to use public transportation.

Moving along towards the end...this the only possible explanation as to why LIVfitness Club, Condado, Puerto Rico keep the shitty music at a 150/200 decibels.

They most have a secret merging with hearing aid manufacturing companies, stocks wise a perfect deal!

Hearing loss is a progressive disease.  LIVfitness make their mostly young  and older customers without ear plugs protection to become deaf  slowly but surely, while they train to be fit, healthy and handsome.  Including their staff, those with office duties and trainers alike.

By the way, I have never seen people worst dressed in my life with those cheap ill fitted jackets, including one Morticia Adams with thick black glasses. The black jacket is about four inches too short in the back...No i do not wear Dolce/Gabana suits at all, it is the critic in me...

What the hell?  And the tittle?   Well my fellow americans from the continent and the other five...If you want to look handsome, even if you are somewhat round in the waist, get this...

Two thirds of your biceps, are essentially triceps.  No Harvard degree necessary. If you want to have, to show off
nice arms, do more repetitions and sets for triceps than the opposite.

Which reminds me...All the trainers, the dwarf, the naomi campbell look alike, the one swaggering while he walks Bronx or Spanish Harlem like and ALL, the rest, are into cables, a red ball, mostly tension exercises.  

When I watch their victims instead of my natural tendency to mock,  I feel some pity, noticing their grimaces at the difficulty.  I do not see the point. No muscle tone, no stamina, no weight loss  can be achieved with those silly exercise routines, devoid of aerobics, from my view. 

The bonus?  Going deaf, unaware of it and paying monthly.


  1. If their is one thing I can't stand it's gyms; I have never used one, firstly they are dirty and the so called trainers do not know what they are doing. The second thing I abhor is men with blown up upper arms and chests, mainly blown up by steroids. Yes and the sound called music that come out of these "bogan" places. Ciao Antigonum you are not alone! T♥

  2. I suppose Puerto Ricans in the future will be born deaf and with wheels for feet. Our island is such fertile ground for comedy. This thing with the cops is most absurd indeed. We could have a movie industry churning out comedies and dramas like churros.


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